"L'amour est pour les coeurs,Ce que l'aurore est pour les fleurs,Et le printemps pour la nature."--VIGUE.
"Love is a childish disease and like the small-pox. Some die, somebecome deformed, others are more or less scarred, while upon othersthe disease does not leave any visible trace."--The Alchemist, by C. HAUCH.
"Be candid, Otto!" said Wilhelm, as he one day visited his friend."You cannot make up your mind to say thou to me; therefore let itbe. We are, after all, good friends. It is only a form; althoughyou must grant that in this respect you are really a great fool."
Otto now explained what an extraordinary aversion he had felt, whata painful feeling had seized upon him, and made it impossible tohim.
"There you were playing the martyr!" said Wilhelm, laughing. "Couldyou not immediately tell me how you were constituted? So are mostmen. When they have no trouble, they generally hatch onethemselves; they will rather stand in the cold shadow than in thewarm sunshine, and yet the choice stands open to us. Dear friend,reflect; now we are both of us on the stream: we shall soon be putinto the great business-bottles, where we shall, like littledevils, stretch and strain ourselves without ever getting out,until life withdraws from us!" He laid his arm confidentially uponOtto's shoulder. "Often have I wished to speak with you upon onepoint! Yes, I do not desire that you should confess every word,every thought to me. I already know that I shall be able to proveto you that the thing lies in a region where it cannot have thepower which you ascribe to it. In the cold zones a venomous bitedoes not operate as dangerously as in warmer ones; a sorrowin childhood cannot overpower us as it does in riper age. Whatevermisfortune may have happened to you when a child, if in yourwildness--you yourself say that you were wild--whatsoever you mayhave then done, it cannot, it ought not to influence your wholelife: your understanding could tell you this better than I. At ourage we find ourselves in the land of joy, or we never enter it!"
"You are a happy man!" exclaimed Otto, and gazed sorrowfullybefore him. "Your childhood afforded you only joy and hope! Onlythink of the solitude in which mine was passed. Among the sand-hillsof the west coast my days glided away: my grandfather was gloomyand passionate; our old preacher lived only in a past time whichI knew not, and Rosalie regarded the world through the spectaclesof sorrow. Such an environment might well cast a shadow upon mylife-joy. Even in dress, one is strangely remarkable when one comesfrom afar province to the capital; first this receives another cut,and one gradually becomes like those around one. The same thinghappens in a spiritual relation, but one's being and ideas one doesnot change so quickly as one's clothes. I have only been a shorttime among strangers, and who knows?" added he, with a melancholysmile, "perhaps I shall come into equilibrium when some reallygreat misfortune happens to me and very much overpowers me, andthen I may show the same carelessness, the same phlegm as themultitude."
"A really great misfortune!" repeated Wilhelm. "You do, indeed, saysomething. That would be a very original means of cure, but you arean original being. Perhaps lay this means you might really behealed. 'Make no cable out of cobweb!' said a celebrated poet whosename does not occur to me at this moment. But the thought is good,you should have it embroidered upon your waistcoat, so that youmight have it before your eyes when you droop your head. Do notlook so grave; we are friends, are we not? Among all my youngacquaintance you are the dearest to me, although there are momentswhen I know not how it stands with us. I could confide every secretto you, but I am not sure that you would be equally open with me.Do not be angry, my dear friend! There are secrets of so delicate anature, that one may not confide them even to the dearest friend.So long as we preserve our secret it is our prisoner; it is quitethe contrary, however, so soon as we have let it escape us. Andyet, Otto, you are so dear to me, that I believe in you as in myown heart. This, even now, bears a secret which penetrates me withjoy and love of life! I must speak cut. But you must enter into myjoy, partake in it, or say nothing about it; you have then heardnothing--nothing! Otto, I love! therefore am I happy, therefore isthere sunshine in my heart, life joy in my veins! I love Eva, thebeautiful lovely Eva!"
Otto pressed his hand, but preserved silence.
"No, not so!" cried Wilhelm. "Only speak a word! Do you I'm in aconception of the world which has opened before me?"
"Eva is beautiful! very beautiful!" said Otto, slowly. "She isinnocent and good. What can one wish for more? I can imagine howshe fills your whole heart! But will she do so always? She will notalways remain young, always lovely! Has she, then, mind sufficientto be everything to you? Will this momentary happiness which youprepare for her and yourself be great enough to outweigh--I willnot say the sorrow, but the discontent which this union will bringforth in your family? For God's sake, think of everything!"
"My dear fellow!" said Wilhelm, "your old preacher now reallyspeaks out of you! But enough: I can bear the confession. I answer,'Yes, yes!' with all my heart, 'yes!' Wherefore will you now bringme out of my sunshine into shade? Wherefore, in my joy over thebeauty of the rose should I be reminded that the perfume and colorwill vanish, that the leaves will fall? It is the course of life!but must one, therefore, think of the grave, of the finale, whenthe act begins?"
"Love is a kind of monomania," said Otto; "it may be combated: itdepends merely upon our own will."
"Ah, you know this not at all!" said Wilhelm. "But it will come indue time, and then you will be far more violent than others! Whoknows? perhaps this is the sorrow of which you spoke, themisfortune which should bring your whole being into equipoise! Thatwas also a kind of search after the sorrowful. I will sincerelywish that your heart may be filled with love as mine is; then willthe influence of the sand-hills vanish, and you will speak with meas you ought to do, and as my confidence deserves!"
"That will I!" replied Otto. "You make the poor girl miserable! Nowyou love Eva, but then you will no longer be able. The distancebetween you and her is too great, and I cannot conceive how thebeauty of her countenance can thus fill your whole being. Awaiting-girl! yes, I repeat the name which offends your ear: awaiting-girl! Everywhere will it be repeated. And you? No one canrespect nobility less than I do--that nobility which is onlyconferred by birth; it is nothing, and a time will come when thiswill not be prized at all, when the nobility of the soul will bethe only nobility. I openly say this to you, who are a noblemanyourself. The more development of mind, the more ancestors! But Evahas nothing, can have nothing, except a pretty face, and this iswhat has enchained you; you are become the servant of a servant,and that is degrading yourself and your nobility of mind!"
"Mr. Thostrup!" exclaimed Wilhelm, "you wound me! This is trulynot the first time, but now I am weary of it. I have shown too muchgood nature, and that is the most unfortunate failing a man can becursed with!"
He seated himself at the piano, and hammered away.
Otto was silent a moment, his checks glowed, but he was soon againcalm, and in a joking tone said: "Do not expend your anger uponthat poor instrument because we disagree in our views. You areplaying only dissonances, which offend my ear more than youranger!"
"Dissonances!" repeated Wilhelm. "Cannot you hear that they areharmonies? There are many things for which you have a bad ear!"
Otto knew how to lead his anger to different points regarding whichthey had formerly been at variance, but he spoke with such mildnessthat Wilhelm's anger rather abated than increased.
They were again friends, but regarding Eva not one word more wassaid.
"I should not be an honest and true friend to him, were I to lethim be swallowed up by this whirlpool!" said Otto to himself, whenhe was alone. "At present he is innocent and good but at his age,with his gay disposition!--I must warn Eva! soon! soon! The snowwhich has once been trodden is no longer pure! Wilhelm willscarcely forgive me! But I must!"
On the morrow it was impossible for him to travel to Roeskelde, butthe following day he really would and must hasten thither.
Still, in the early morning hour, Eva occupied his thoughts; shebusied Wilhelm's also, but in a different way: but they agreed inthe purity of their intentions. There was still a third, whoseblood was put in motion at the mention of her name, who said: "Thepretty Eva is a servant there! One must speak with her. The familycan make an excursion there!"
"You sweet children!" said the merchant's wife, "the autumn ischarming, far pleasanter than the whole summer! The father, shouldthe weather remain good, will make an excursion with us toLethraborg the day after to-morrow. We will then walk in thebeautiful valley of the Hertha, and pass the night at Roeskelde.Those will be two delightful days! What an excellent father youhave! But shall we not invite Mr. Thostrup to go with us? We are somany ladies, and it looks well to have a few young gentlemen withus. Grethe, thou must write an invitation; thou canst write thyfather's name underneath."