THE CONVERT
Old Home Week passed in a burst of glory and profit. True to itstroublous type, the "Clarion" had interfered with the profit, in twobrief, lively, and effective campaigns. It had published a roster ofhotels which, after agreeing not to raise rates for the week, hadreverted to the old, tried and true principle of "all the traffic canbear," with comparative tables, thereby causing great distress of mindand pocket among the piratical. Backed by the Consumers' League, it hadagain taken up the cudgels for the store employees, demanding that theyreceive pay for overtime during the celebration and winning a partialvictory. No little rancor was, of course, stirred up among theadvertisers. The usual threats were made. But the business interests ofWorthington had begun to learn that threatening the "Clarion" was afutile procedure, while advertisers were coming to a realization of thefact that they couldn't afford to stay out of so strong a medium, evenat increased rates.
The raise in the advertising schedule had been partly Esm?Elliot'sdoing. As a condition of her engagement to Hal, she demanded aresumption of the old partnership. Entered into lightly, it soon becameof serious moment, for the girl had a natural gift for affairs. When shelearned that on the basis of circulation the "Clarion" would bejustified in increasing its advertising card by forty per cent, butdared not do so because of the narrow margin upon which it was working,she insisted upon the measure, supporting her argument with aconsiderable sum of money of her own. Hal revolted at this, but shepleaded so sweetly that he finally consented to regard it as a reservefund. It was never called for. The turn of the tide had come for thepaper. It lost few old advertisers and put on new ones. It was asuccess.
No one was more delighted than Dr. Surtaine. Forgetting his ownprophecies of disaster he exalted Hal to the skies as a chip of the oldblock, an inheritor of his own genius for business.
"Knew all along he had the stuff in him," he would declare buoyantly."Look at the 'Clarion' now! Most independent, you-be-damned sheet in thecountry. And what about the chaps that were going to put it out ofbusiness? Eating out of its hand!"
Of Esm?the old quack was quite as proud as of Hal. To him she embodiedand typified, in its extreme form, those things which all his moneycould not buy. That she disliked the Certina business and made no secretof the fact did not in the least interfere with a genuine liking betweenherself and its proprietor. Dr. Surtaine could not discuss Certina withHal: there were too many wounds still open between them. But with Esm?he could, and often did. Her attitude struck him as nicely philosophicand impersonal, if a bit disdainful. And in these days he had to talk tosome one, for he was swollen with a great and glorious purpose.
He announced it one resplendent fall day, having gone out to Greenvalewith that particular object in view, at an hour when he was sure thatHal would be at the office.
"Esm? I'm going to make you a wedding present of Certina," he said.
"Never take it, Doctor," she replied, smiling up at him in friendlyrecognition of what had come to be a subject of stock joke between them.
"I'm serious. I'm going to make you a wedding present of the Certinabusiness. I guess there aren't many brides get a gift of half a milliona year. Too bad I can't give it out to the newspapers, but it wouldn'tdo."
"What on earth do you mean?" cried the astonished girl. "I couldn't takeit. Hal wouldn't let me."
"I'm going to give it up, for you. You think it ain't genteel andhigh-toned, don't you?"
"I think it isn't honest."
"Not discussing business principles, to-day," retorted the Doctorgood-humoredly. "It's a question of taste now. You're ashamed of theproprietary medicine game, aren't you, my dear?"
Esm?laughed. Embarrassment with Dr. Surtaine was impossible. He was toochildlike. "A little," she confessed.
"You'd be glad if I quit it."
"Of course I would. I suppose you can afford it."
As if responding to the touch of a concealed spring, the Surtaine chestprotruded. "You find me something I can't afford, and I'll buy it!" hedeclared. "But this won't even cost me anything in the long run. Esm?did I ever tell you my creed?"
"'Certina Cures,'" suggested the girl mischievously.
"That's for business. I mean for everyday life. My creed is to letProvidence take care of folks in general while I look after me andmine."
"It's practical, at least, if not altruistic."
"Me, and mine," repeated the charlatan. "Do you get that 'and mine'?That means the employees of the Certina factory. Now, if I quit makingCertina, what about them? Shall I turn them out on the street?"
"I hadn't thought of that," admitted the girl blankly.
"Business can be altruistic as well as practical, you see," he observed."Well, I've worked out a scheme to take care of that. Been working on itfor months. Certina is going to die painlessly. And I'm going to preachits funeral oration at the factory on Monday. Will you come, and makeHal come, too?"
In vain did Esm?employ her most winning arts of persuasion to get morefrom the wily charlatan. He enjoyed being teased, but he was obdurate.Accordingly she promised for herself and Hal.
But Hal was not as easily persuaded. He shrank from the thought of everagain setting foot in the Certina premises. Only Esm?s most artfulpleading that he should not so sorely disappoint his father finally wonhim over.
At the Certina "shop," on the appointed day, the fianc閟 were ushered inwith unaccustomed formality. They found gathered in the magnificentexecutive offices all the heads of departments of the vast concern, aquiet, expectant crowd. There were no outsiders other than Hal and Esm?Dr. Surtaine, glossy, grave, a figure to fill the eye roundly, sat athis glass-topped table facing his audience. Above him hung Old Lame-Boy,eternally hobbling amidst his fervid implications.
Waving the newcomers to seats directly in front of him, the presidinggenius lifted a benign hand for silence.
"My friends," he said, in his unctuous, rolling voice, "I have animportant announcement to make. The Certina business is finished."
There was a silence of stunned surprise as the speaker paused to enjoyhis effect.
"Certina," he pursued, "has been the great triumph of my career. I mightalmost say it has been my career. But it has not been my life, myfriends. The whole is greater than the part: the creator is greater thanthe thing he creates. They say, 'Surtaine of Certina.' It should be,'Certina of Surtaine.' There's more to come of Surtaine."
His voice dropped to the old, pleading, confidential tone of theitinerant; as if he were beguiling them now to accept the philosophywhich he was to set forth.
"What is life, my dear friends? Life is a paper-chase. We rush from onething to another, Little Daisy Happiness just one jump ahead of us andOld Man Death grabbing at our coat-tails. Well, before he catches holdof mine,"--the splendid bulk and vitality of the man gave refutation tothe hint of pathos in the voice,--"I want to run my race out so that mychildren and my children's children can point to me and say, 'Onecrowded hour of glorious life is worth a cycle of Cathay.'"
With a superb gesture he indicated Hal and Esm? who, he observed withgratification, seemed quite overcome with emotion.
"That is why, my friends, I am withdrawing certina, and turning to freshfields; if I may say so, fields of more genteel endeavor. Certina hasmade millions. It could still make millions. I could sell out formillions to-day. But, in the words of the sweet singer, I come to buryit, not to praise it. Certina has done its grand work. The day ofmedicine is almost over. Interfering laws are being passed. The publicis getting suspicious of drugs. Whether this is just or unjust is notthe question which I am considering. I've always wanted my business tobe high-class. You can't run a high-class business when the public is onto you.
"Don't think, any of you, that I'm going to retire and leave you in thelurch. No. I'm looking ahead, for you as well as for me. What's thenewest thing in science? Foods! Specific foods, to build up the system.That's the big thing of the future here in America. We're a tirednation, a nerve-wracked nation, a brain-fagged nation. Suppose a mancould say to the public, 'Get as tired as you like. Work to your limit.Play to your limit. Go the pace. When you're worn out, come to us andwe'll repair the waste for a few dollars. We've got a food--no drugs, nomedicines--that builds up brain and nerve as good as new. The greatestauthorities in the world agree on it.' Is there any limit to thebusiness that food could do?
"Well, I've got it! And I've got the backing for it. Mr. Belford Couchwill tell you of our testimonials. Tell 'em the whole thing, Bel: we'reall one family here."
"I've been huntin' in Europe," said Certina Charley, rising, in accentsof pardonable pride: "and I've got the hottest bunch of signed stuffever. You all know how hard it is to get any medical testimonials here.They're all afraid, except a few down-and-outers. Well, there's none ofthat in Europe. They'll stand for any kind of advertising, so long asit's published only in the United States--provided they get their price.And it ain't such an awful price either. I got the Emperor's ownphysician for one thousand five hundred dollars cash. And a line ofcourt doctors and swell university professors anywhere from one thousanddollars way down to one hundred. It's the biggest testimonial stunt everpulled."
"And every mother's son of 'em," put in Dr. Surtaine, "staking ahigh-toned scientific reputation that the one sure, unfailing, reliableupbuilder for brain-workers, nervous folks, tired-out, or broken-downfolks of any kind at all is"--here Dr. Surtaine paused, looked about hisentranced audience, and delivered himself of his climax in a voice ofthunder:
"CEREBREAD!"
The word passed from mouth to mouth, in accents of experimentation,admiration, and acceptance.
"Cere, from cerebellum, the brain, and bread the universal food. I dopedit out myself, and as soon as I hit on it I shipped Belford Couchstraight to Europe to get the backing. I wouldn't take a million forthat name, to-day.
"See what you can do with a proposition of that sort! It hasn't got anydrugs in it, so we won't have to label it under the law. It ain'tmedical; so the most particular newspaper and magazines won't kick onthe advertising. Yet, with the copy I'm getting up on it, we can put itover to cure more troubles than Certina ever thought of curing. Only wewon't use the word 'cure,' of course. All we have to do is to ram itinto the public that all its troubles are nervous and brain troubles.'Cerebread' restores the brain and rebuilds the nerves, and there youare, as good as new. Is that some plan? Or isn't it!"
There was a ripple of applausive comment.
"What's in it?" inquired Lauder, the factory superintendent.
"Millions in it, my boy," cried the other jubilantly. "We'll bemanufacturing by New Year's."
"That's the point. What'll we be manufacturing?"
"By crikey! That reminds me. Haven't settled that yet. Might as well doit right now," said the presiding genius of the place with Olympiandecision. "Dr. De Vito, what's the newest wrinkle in brain-food?"
"Brain-food?" hesitated the little physician. "Something new?"
"Yes, yes!" cried the charlatan impatiently. "What's the fad now? Itused to be phosphorus."
"Ye-es. Phosphorus, maybe. Maybe some kind of hypophosphite, eh?"
"Sounds all right. Could you get up a preparation of it that looks tastyand tastes good?"
"Sure. Easy."
"Fine! I'll send you down the advertising copy, so you'll have that togo by. And now, gentlemen, we're the Cerebread factory from now on. Keepall your help; we'll need 'em. Go on with Certina till we're sold out;but no more advertising on it. And, all of you, from now on, think,dream, and live Cerebread. Meeting's adjourned."
The staff filed out, chattering excitedly. "He'll put it over."--"Youcan't beat the Chief."--"Is'n't he a wonder!"--"Cerebread; it's a greatname to advertise."--"No come-back to it, either. Nobody can kick on afood."--"It's a sure-enough classy proposition, with those swellEuropean names to it!"--"Wish he'd let us in on the stock."
Success was in the air. It centered in and beamed from the happy eyesof the reformed enthusiast, as, crossing over the room with handsextended to Esm?and Hal, he cried in a burst of generous emotion:
"It was you two that converted me."
THE END.
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