"Wherever sorrow is, relief would be;
If you do sorrow at my grief in love,
By giving love, your sorrow and my grief
Were both extermin'd."
_As You Like It._
I saw but little of Grace, during the early part of the succeeding
day. She had uniformly breakfasted in her own room, of late, and, in
the short visit I paid her there, I found her composed, with an
appearance of renewed strength that encouraged me greatly, as to the
future. Mr. Hardinge insisted on rendering an account of his
stewardship, that morning, and I let the good divine have his own way;
though, had he asked me for a receipt in full, I would cheerfully have
given it to him, without examining a single item. There was a
singular peculiarity about Mr. Hardinge. No one could live less for
the world generally; no one was less qualified to superintend
extensive worldly interests, that required care, or thought; and no
one would have been a more unsafe executor in matters that were
intricate or involved: still, in the mere business of accounts, he was
as methodical and exact, as the most faithful banker. Rigidly honest,
and with a strict regard for the rights of others, living moreover on
a mere pittance, for the greater part of his life, this conscientious
divine never contracted a debt he could not pay. What rendered this
caution more worthy of remark, was the fact that he had a spendthrift
son; but, even Rupert could never lure him into any weakness of this
sort. I question if his actual cash receipts, independently of the
profits of his little glebe, exceeded $300 in any one year; yet, he
and his children were ever well-dressed, and I knew from observation
that his table was always sufficiently supplied. He got a few presents
occasionally, from his parishioners, it is true; but they did not
amount to any sum of moment. It was method, and a determination not to
anticipate his income, that placed him so much above the world, while
he had a family to support; whereas, now that Mrs. Bradfort's fortune
was in the possession of his children, he assured me he felt himself
quite rich, though he scrupulously refused to appropriate one dollar
of the handsome income that passed through his hands as executor, to
his own uses. It was all Lucy's, who was entitled to receive this
income even in her minority, and to her he paid every cent, quarterly;
the sister providing for Rupert's ample wants.
Of course, I found everything exact to a farthing; the necessary
papers were signed, the power of attorney was cancelled, and I entered
fully into the possession of my own. An unexpected rise in the value
of flour had raised my shore receipts that year to the handsome sum of
nine thousand dollars. This was not properly income, however, but
profits, principally obtained through the labour of the mill. By
putting all my loose cash together, I found I could command fully
$30,000, in addition to the price of the ship. This sum was making me
a man quite at my ease, and, properly managed, it opened a way to
wealth. How gladly would I have given every cent of it, to see Grace
as healthy and happy as she was when I left her at Mrs. Bradfort's, to
sail in the Crisis!
After settling the figures, Mr. Hardinge and I mounted our horses, and
rode over the property to take a look at the state of the farm. Our
road took us near the little rectory and the glebe; and, here, the
simple-minded divine broke out into ecstasies on the subject of the
beauties of his own residence, and the delight with which he should
now return to his ancient abode. He loved Clawbonny no less than
formerly, but he loved the rectory more.
"I was born in that humble, snug, quiet old stone cottage, Miles," he
said, "and there I lived for years a happy husband and father, and I
hope I may say a faithful shepherd of my little flock. St. Michael's,
Clawbonny, is not Trinity, New York, but it may prove, on a small
scale as to numbers, as fitting a nursery of saints. What humble and
devout Christians have I known to kneel at its little altar, Miles,
among whom your mother, and your venerable old grandmother, were two
of the best. I hope the day is not distant when I shall meet there
another Mrs. Miles Wallingford. Marry young, my boy; early marriages
prove happier than late, where there are the means of subsistence."
"You would not have me marry, until I can find a woman whom I shall
truly love, dear sir?"
"Heaven forbid! I would rather see you a bachelor to my dying day. But
America has enough females that a youth, like you, could, and indeed
ought to love. I could direct you to fifty, myself."
"Well, sir, _your_ recommendations would have great weight with
me. I wish you would begin."
"That I will, that I will, if you wish it, my dear boy. Well, there
is a Miss Hervey, Miss Kate Hervey, in town; a girl of excellent
qualities, and who would just suit you, could you agree."
"I recollect the young lady; the greatest objection I should raise to
her, is a want of personal attractions. Of all Mrs. Bradfort's
acquaintances, I think she was among the very plainest."
"What is beauty, Miles? In marriage, very different recommendations
are to be looked for by the husband."
"Yet, I have understood you practised on another theory;
Mrs. Hardinge, even as I recollect her, was very handsome."
"Yes, that is true," answered the good divine, simply; "she was so;
but beauty is not to be considered as an _objection_. If you do
not relish the idea of Kate Hervey, what do you say to Jane
Harwood--there is a pretty girl for you."
"A pretty girl, sir, but not for me. But, in naming so many young
ladies, why do you overlook your own daughter?"
I said this with a sort of desperate resolution, tempted by the
opportunity, and the direction the discourse had taken. When it was
uttered, I repented of my temerity, and almost trembled to hear the
answer.
"Lucy!" exclaimed Mr. Hardinge, turning suddenly to towards me, and
looking so intently and earnestly in my face, that I saw the
possibility of such a thing then struck him, for the first time. "Sure
enough, why should you not marry Lucy? There is not a particle of
relationship between you, after all, though I have so long considered
you as brother and sister. I wish we had thought of this earlier,
Miles; it would be a most capital connection--though I should insist
on your quitting the sea. Lucy has too affectionate a heart, to be
always in distress for an absent husband. I wonder the possibility of
this thing did not strike me, before it was too late; in a man so much
accustomed to see what is going on around me, to overlook this!"
The words "too late," sounded to me like the doom of fate; and had my
simple-minded companion but the tithe of the observation which he so
much vaunted, he must have seen my agitation. I had advanced so far,
however, that I determined to learn the worst, whatever pain it might
cost me.
"I suppose, sir the very circumstance that we were brought up together
has prevented us all from regarding the thing as possible. But, why
'too late,' my excellent guardian, if we who are the most interested
in the thing should happen to think otherwise?"
"Certainly not too late, if you include Lucy, herself, in your
conditions; but I am afraid, Miles, it is 'too late' for Lucy."
"Am I to understand, then, that Miss Hardinge is engaged to
Mr. Drewett? Are her affections enlisted in his behalf?"
"You may be certain of one thing, boy, and that is, if Lucy be
engaged, her affections are enlisted--so conscientious a young woman
would never marry without giving her heart with her hand. As for the
fact, however, I know nothing, except by inference. I do suppose a
mutual attachment to exist between her and Andrew Drewett."
"Of course with good reason, sir. Lucy is not a coquette, or a girl to
encourage when she does not mean to accept."
"That's all I know of the matter. Drewett continues to visit; is as
attentive as a young man well can be, where a young woman is as
scrupulous as is Lucy about the proper forms, and I infer they
understand each other. I have thought of speaking to Lucy on the
subject, but I do not wish to influence her judgment, in a case where
there exists no objection. Drewett is every way a suitable match, and
I wish things to take their own course. There is one little
circumstance, however, that I can mention to you as a sort of son,
Miles, and which I consider conclusive as to the girl's
inclinations--I have remarked that she refuses all expedients to get
her to be alone with Drewett--refuses to make excursions in which she
must be driven in his curricle, or to go anywhere with him, even to
the next door. So particular is she, that she contrives never to be
alone with him, even in his many visits to the house."
"And do you consider that as a proof of attachment?--of her being
engaged? Does your own experience, sir, confirm such a notion?"
"What else can it be, if it be not a consciousness of a passion--of an
attachment that she is afraid every one will see? You do not
understand the sex, I perceive, Miles, or the finesse of their natures
would be more apparent to you. As for my experience, no conclusion
can be drawn from that, as I and my dear wife were thrown together
very young, all alone, in her mother's country house; and the old lady
being bed-ridden, there was no opportunity for the bashful maiden to
betray this consciousness. But, if I understand human nature, such is
the secret of Lucy's feelings towards Andrew Drewett. It is of no
great moment to you, Miles, notwithstanding, as there are plenty more
young women to be had in the world."
"True, sir; but there is only one Lucy Hardinge!" I rejoined with a
fervour and strength of utterance that betrayed more than I intended.
My late guardian actually stopped his horse this time, to look at me,
and I could perceive deep concern gathering around his usually serene
and placid brow. He began to penetrate my feelings, and I believe they
caused him real grief.
"I never could have dreamed of this!" Mr. Hardinge at length
exclaimed: "Do you really love Lucy, my dear Miles?"
"Better than I do my own life, sir--I almost worship the earth she
treads on--Love her with my whole heart, and have loved, I believe, if
the truth were known, ever since I was sixteen--perhaps I had better
say, twelve years old!"
The truth escaped me, as the torrent of the Mississippi breaks through
the levee, and a passage once open for its exit, it cleared a way for
itself, until the current of my feelings left no doubt of its
direction. I believe I was a little ashamed of my own weakness, for I
caused my horse to walk forward, Mr. Hardinge accompanying the
movement, for a considerable distance, in a profound, and, I doubt
not, a painful silence.
"This has taken me altogether by surprise, Miles," my late guardian
resumed; "altogether by surprise. What would I not give could this
have been known a year or two since! My dear boy, I feel for you, from
the bottom of my heart, for I can understand what it must be to love a
girl like Lucy, without hope. Why did you not let this be known
sooner--or, why did you insist on going to sea, having so strong a
motive for remaining at home?"
"I was too young, at that time, sir, to act on, or even to understand
my own feelings. On my return, in the Crisis, I found Lucy in a set
superior to, that in which I was born and educated, and it would have
been a poor proof of my attachment to wish to bring her down nearer to
my own level."
"I understand you, Miles, and can appreciate the generosity of your
conduct; though I am afraid it would have been too late on your return
in the Crisis. That was only a twelvemonth since, and, then, I rather
think, Andrew Drewett had offered. There is good sense in your feeling
on the subject of marriages in unequal conditions in life, for they
certainly lead to many heart-burnings, and greatly lessen the chances
of happiness. One thing is certain; in all such cases, if the inferior
cannot rise to the height of the superior, the superior must sink to
the level of the inferior. Man and wife cannot continue to occupy
different social positions; and, as for the nonsense that is uttered
on such subjects, by visionaries, under the claim of its being common
sense, it is only fit for pretending theories, and can have nothing to
do with the great rules of practice. You were right in principle,
then, Miles, though you have greatly exaggerated the facts of your own
particular case."
"I have always known, sir, and have ever been ready to admit, that the
Hardinges have belonged to a different class of society, from that
filled by the Wallingfords."
"This is true, but in part only; and by no means true to a degree that
need have drawn any impassable line between you and Lucy. You forget
how poor we then were, and bow substantial a benefit the care of
Clawbonny might have been to my dear girl. Besides, you are of
reputable descent and position, if not precisely of the gentry; and
this is not a country, or an age, to carry notions of such a nature
beyond the strict bounds of reason. You and Lucy were educated on the
same level; and, after all, that is the great essential for the
marriage connection."
There was great good sense in what Mr. Hardinge said; and I began to
see that pride, and not humility, might have interfered with my
happiness. As I firmly believed it was now too late, however, I began
to wish the subject changed; for I felt it grating on some of my most
sacred feelings. With a view to divert the conversation to another
channel, therefore, I remarked with some emphasis, affecting an
indifference I did not feel--
"What cannot be cured, must be endured, sir; and I shall endeavour to
find a sailor's happiness hereafter, in loving my ship. Besides, were
Andrew Drewett entirely out of the question, it is now 'too late,' in
another sense, since it would never do for the man who, himself at his
ease in the way of money, hesitated about offering when his mistress
was poor, to prove his love, by proposing to Mrs. Bradfort's
heiress. Still, I own to so much weakness as to wish to know, before
we close the subject for ever, why Mr. Drewett and your daughter do
not marry, if they are engaged? Perhaps it is owing only to Lucy's
mourning?"
"I have myself imputed it to another cause. Rupert is entirely
dependent on his sister, and I know Lucy so well as to feel
certain--some extraordinary cause not interposing--that she wishes to
bestow half her cousin's fortune on her brother. This cannot be done
until she is of age, and she wants near two years of attaining her
majority."
I made no answer; for I felt how likely this was to be true. Lucy was
not a girl of professions, and she would be very apt to keep a
resolution of this nature, a secret in her own breast, until ready to
carry it into execution. No more passed between Mr. Hardinge and
myself, on the subject of our recent conversation; though I could see
my avowal had made him sad, and that it induced him to treat me with
more affection, even, than had been his practice. Once or twice, in
the course of the next day or two, I overheard him soliloquizing--a
habit to which he was a good deal addicted--during which he would
murmur, "What a pity!"--"How much to be regretted!"'--"I would rather
have him for a son than any man on earth!" and other similar
expressions. Of course, these involuntary disclosures did not weaken
my regard for my late guardian.
About noon, the Grace & Lucy came in, and Neb reported that Dr. Bard
was not at home. He had left my letter, however, and it would be
delivered as soon as possible. He told me also that the wind had been
favourable on the river, and that the Wallingford must reach town that
day.
Nothing further occurred, worthy of notice. I passed the afternoon
with Grace, in the little room; and we conversed much of the past, of
our parents in particular, without adverting, however, to her
situation, any further than to apprise her of what I had done. I
thought she was not sorry to learn I had sent for Lucy, now that I was
with her, and it was no longer possible her illness could be
concealed. As for the physicians, when they were mentioned, I could
see a look of tender concern in Grace's eyes, as if she regretted that
I still clung to the delusion of hoping to see her health
restored. Notwithstanding these little drawbacks, we passed a sweet
eventide together. For more than an hour, Grace lay on my bosom,
occasionally patting her hand on my cheeks, as the child caresses its
mother. This was an old habit of hers, and it was one I was equally
delighted and pained to have her resume, now we were of the age and
stature of man and woman.
The next day was Sunday, and Grace insisted on my driving her to
church. This was done, accordingly, in a very old-fashioned, but very
easy Boston chaise, that had belonged to my mother, and with very
careful driving. The congregation, like the church-edifice of
St. Michael's, was very small, being confined, with some twenty or
thirty exceptions, to the family and dependants of Clawbonny.
Mr. Hardinge's little flock was hedged in by other denominations on
every side, and it was not an easy matter to break through the
barriers that surrounded it. Then he was not possessed with the spirit
of proselytism, contenting himself with aiding in the spiritual
advancement of those whom Providence had consigned to his care. On the
present occasion, however, the little building was full, and that was
as much as could have happened had it been as large as St. Peter's
itself. The prayers were devoutly and fervently read, and the sermon
was plain and filled with piety.
My sister professed herself in no manner wearied with the exertion. We
dined with Mr. Hardinge, at the Rectory, which was quite near the
church; and the irreverent, business-like, make-weight sort of look,
of going in to one service almost as soon as the other was ended, as
if to score off so much preaching and praying as available at the
least trouble, being avoided, by having the evening service commence
late, she was enabled to remain until the close of the day. Mr.
Hardinge rarely preached but once of a Sunday. He considered the
worship of God, and the offices of the church, as the proper duties of
the day, and regarded his own wisdom as a matter of secondary
importance. But one sermon cost him as much labour, and study, and
anxiety, as most clergymen's two. His preaching, also, had the high
qualification of being addressed to the affections of his flock, and
not to its fears and interests. He constantly reminded us of God's
_love_, and of the _beauty_ of holiness; while I do not
remember to have heard him allude half a dozen times in his life to
the terrors of judgment and punishment, except as they were connected
with that disappointed love. I suppose there are spirits that require
these allusions, and the temptations of future happiness, to incite
their feelings; but I like the preacher who is a Christian because he
feels himself _drawn_ to holiness, by a power that is of itself
holy; and not those who appeal to their people, as if heaven and hell
were a mere matter of preference and avoidance, on the ground of
expediency. I cannot better characterize Mr. Hardinge's preaching,
than by saying, that I do not remember ever to have left his church
with a sense of fear towards the Creator; though I have often been
impressed with a love that was as profound as the adoration that had
been awakened.
Another calm and comparatively happy evening was passed, during which
I conversed freely with Grace of my own intentions, endeavouring to
revive in her an interest in life, by renewing old impressions, and
making her participate in my feelings. Had I been with her from the
hour spring opened, with its renewal of vegetation, and all the joys
it confers on the innocent and happy, I have often thought since, I
might have succeeded. As it was, she listened with attention, and
apparently with pleasure, for she saw it served to relieve my mind. We
did not separate until I insisted Grace should retire, and Chloe had
made more than one remonstrance about her young mistress's exceeding
the usual time. On leaving my sister's chamber, the negress followed
me with a light, lest I should fall, among the intricate turnings, and
the ups and downs of the old building.
"Well, Chloe," I said, as we proceeded together, "how do you find Neb?
Does he improve by this running about on the ocean--especially do you
think he is tanned?"
"De _fel_-ler!"
"Yes, he is a fellow, sure enough, and let me tell you, Chloe, a very
capital fellow, too. If it can be of any advantage to him in your
favour to know the truth, I will just say a more useful seaman does
not sail the ocean than Neb, and that I consider him as of much
importance as the main-mast?"
"What be _dat_, Masser Mile?"
"I see nothing, Chloe--there are no spooks at Clawbonny, you know."
"No, sah! What b'e t'ing Neb like, _fel_-ler?"
"Oh! I ask your pardon--the main-mast, you mean. It is the most
important spar in the ship, and I meant that Neb was as useful as that
mast. In battle, too, Neb is as brave as a lion."
Here Chloe could stand it no longer; she fairly laughed outright, in
pure, natural admiration of her suitor's qualities. When this was
performed, she ejaculated once more "De _feller_!"--dropped a
curtsey, said "Good night, Masser Mile," and left me at my own
door. Alas! alas!--Among the improvements of this age, we have
entirely lost the breed of the careless, good-natured, affectionate,
faithful, hard-working, and yet happy blacks, of whom more or less
were to be found in every respectable and long-established family of
the State, forty years ago.
The next day was one of great anxiety to me. I rose early, and the
first thing was to ascertain the direction of the wind. In midsummer
this was apt to be southerly, and so it proved on that occasion. Neb
was sent to the point, as a look-out; he returned about ten, and
reported a fleet of sloops, in sight. These vessels were still a long
distance down the river, but they were advancing at a tolerable rate.
Whether the Wallingford were among them, or not, was more than could
yet be told. I sent him back to his station, as soon as he had eaten;
and unable to remain quiet in the house, myself, I mounted my horse,
and rode out into the fields. Here, as usual, I experienced the
happiness of looking at objects my ancestors loved to regard, and
which always have had a strong and near interest with me.
Perhaps no country that ever yet existed has been so little
understood, or so much misrepresented, as this America of ours. It is
as little understood, I was on the point of saying, at home as it is
abroad, and almost as much misrepresented. Certainly its possessors
are a good deal addicted to valuing themselves on distinctive
advantages that, in reality, they do not enjoy, while their enemies
declaim about vices and evils from which they are comparatively
free. Facts are made to suit theories, and thus it is that we see
well-intentioned, and otherwise respectable writers, constantly
running into extravagances, in order to adapt the circumstances to the
supposed logical or moral inference. This reasoning backwards, has
caused Alison, with all his knowledge and fair-mindedness, to fall
into several egregious errors, as I have discovered while recently
reading his great work on Europe. He says we are a migratory race, and
that we do not love the sticks and stones that surround us, but quit
the paternal roof without regret, and consider the play-grounds of
infancy as only so much land for the market. He also hazards the
assertion, that there is not such a thing as a literal farmer,--that
is a tenant, who _farms_ his land from a landlord--in all
America. Now, as a rule, and comparing the habits of America with
those of older countries, in which land is not so abundant, this may
be true; but as literal fact, nothing can be less so. Four-fifths of
the inhabited portion of the American territory, has a civilized
existence of half a century's duration; and there has not been time to
create the long-lived attachments named, more especially in the
regions that are undergoing the moral fusion that is always an
attendant of a new settlement. That thousands of heartless
speculators exist among us, who do regard everything, even to the
graves of their fathers, as only so much improvable property, is as
undeniable as the fact that they are odious to all men of any moral
feeling; but thousands and tens of thousands are to be found in the
country, who _do_ reverence their family possessions from a
sentiment that is creditable to human nature. I will not mention
Clawbonny, and its history, lest I might be suspected of being
partial; but it would be easy for me to point out a hundred families,
embracing all classes, from the great proprietor to the plain yeoman,
who own and reside on the estates of those who first received them
from the hand of nature, and this after one or two centuries of
possession. What will Mr. Alison say, for instance, of the Manor of
Rensselear? A manor, in the legal sense it is no longer, certainly,
the new institutions destroying all the feudal tenures; but, as mere
property, the late Patroon transmitted it as regularly to his
posterity, as any estate was ever transmitted in Europe. This
extensive manor lies in the heart of New York, a state about as large
and about as populous as Scotland, and it embraces no less than three
cities in its bosom, though their sites are not included in its
ownership, having been exempted by earlier grants. It is of more than
two centuries' existence, and it extends eight-and-forty miles east
and west, and half that distance, north and south. Nearly all this
vast property is held, at this hour, of the Van Rensselears, as
landlords, and is farmed by their tenants, there being several
thousands of the latter. The same is true, on a smaller scale, of the
Livingston, the Van Cortlandt, the Philipse, the Nicoll, and various
other old New York estates, though several were lost by attainder in
the revolution. I explain these things, lest any European who may
happen to read this book, should regard it as fiction; for, allowing
for trifling differences, a hundred Clawbonnys are to be found on the
two banks of the Hudson, at this very hour.[*]
[Footnote *: Even the American may learn the following facts with some
surprise. It is now about five-and-twenty years since the writer, as
tenant by the courtesy, came into possession of two farms, lying
within twenty-three miles of New York, in each of which there had been
three generations of tenants, and as many of landlords, _without a
scrap of a pen having passed between the parties_, so far as the
writer could ever discover, receipts for rent excepted! He also stands
in nearly the same relation to another farm, in the same county, on
which a lease for ninety years is at this moment running, one of the
covenants of which prescribes that the tenant shall "frequent divine
service _according to the Church of England_, when opportunity
offers." What an evidence of the nature of the tyranny from which our
ancestors escaped, more especially when it is seen that the tenant was
obliged to submit to this severe exaction, in consideration of a rent
that is merely nominal!]
But, to return to the narrative.
My curiosity increased so much, as the day advanced, that I rode
towards the point to look for the sloop. There she was, sure enough;
and there was Neb, too, galloping a young horse, bare-back, to the
house, with the news. I met him with an order to proceed to the wharf
with the chaise, while I dashed on, in the same direction myself,
almost devoured with an impatience to learn the success of my
different mission's as I galloped along. I could see the upper part of
the Wallingford's sails, gliding through the leaves that fringed the
bank, and it was apparent that she and I would reach the wharf almost
at the same instant. Notwithstanding all my anxiety, it was impossible
to get a glimpse of the vessel's deck.
I did not quit the saddle until the planks of the wharf were under the
horse's hoofs. Then I got a view of the sloop's decks, for the first
time. A respectable-looking, tall, slender, middle-aged man, with a
bright dark eye, was on the quarter-deck, and I bowed to him,
inferring at once that he was one of the medical gentlemen to whom I
had sent the message. In effect, it was Post, the second named on my
list, the first not being able to come. He returned my bow, but,
before I could alight and go on board to receive him, Marble's head
rose from the cabin, and my mate sprang ashore, and shook me cordially
by the hand.
"Here I am, Miles, my boy," cried Marble, whom, off duty, I had
earnestly begged to treat me with his old freedom, and who took me at
my word--"Here I am, Miles, my boy, and farther from salt-water than I
have been in five-and-twenty years. So this is the famous Clawbonny!
I cannot say much for the port, which is somewhat crowded while it
contains but one craft; though the river outside is pretty well, as
rivers go. D'ye know, lad, that I've been in a fever, all the way up,
lest we should get ashore, on one side or the other? your having land
on both tacks at once is too much of a good thing. This coming up to
Clawbonny has put me in mind of running them straits, though we
_have_ had rather better weather this passage, and a clearer
horizon. What d'ye call that affair up against the hill-side, yonder,
with the jig-a-merree, that is turning in the water?"
"That's a mill, my friend, and the jig-a-merree is the very wheel on
which you have heard me say my father was crushed."
Marble looked sorrowfully at the wheel, squeezed my hand, as if to
express sorrow for having reminded me of so painful an event, and then
I heard him murmuring to himself--"Well, _I_ never had a father
to lose. No bloody mill _could_ do me _that_ injury."
"That gentleman on the quarter-deck," I remarked, "is a physician for
whom I sent to town, I suppose."
"Ay, ay--he's some such matter, I do suppose; though I've been
generalizing so much about this here river, and the manner of sailing
a craft of that rig, I've had little to say to him. I'm always a
better friend to the cook than to the surgeon. But, Miles, my lad,
there's a rare 'un, in the ship's after-cabin, I can tell you!"
"That must be Lucy!"--and I did not stop to pay my compliments to the
strange gentleman, but almost leaped into the vessel's cabin.
There was Lucy, sure enough, attended by a respectable-looking elderly
black female, one of the half-dozen slaves that had become her's by
the death of Mrs. Bradfort. Neither spoke, but we shook hands with
frankness; and I understood by the anxious expression of my
companion's eye, all she wished to know.
"I really think she seems better, and certainly she is far more
cheerful, within his last day or two," I answered to the
appeal. "Yesterday she was twice at church, and this morning, for a
novelty, she breakfasted with me."
"God be praised!" Lucy exclaimed, with fervour. Then she sat down and
relieved her feelings in tears. I told her to expect me again, in a
few minutes, and joined the physician, who, by this time, was apprised
of my presence. The calm, considerate manner of Post, gave me a
confidence I had not felt for some days; and I really began to hope it
might still be within the power of his art to save the sister I so
dearly loved.
Our dispositions for quitting the sloop were soon made, and we
ascended the hill together, Lucy leaning on my arm. On its summit was
the chaise, into which the Doctor and Marble were persuaded to enter,
Lucy preferring to walk. The negress was to proceed in the vehicle
that had been sent for the luggage, and Lucy and I set out, arm and
arm, to walk rather more than a mile in company, and that too without
the presence of a third person. Such an occurrence, under any other
circumstances than those in which we were both placed, would have made
me one of the happiest men on earth; but, in the actual situation in
which I found myself, it rendered me silent and uncomfortable. Not so
with Lucy; ever natural, and keeping truth incessantly before her
eyes, the dear girl took my arm without the least embarrassment, and
showed no sign of impatience, or of doubt. She was sad, but full of a
gentle confidence in her own sincerity and motives.
"This is dear Clawbonny, again!" she exclaimed, after we had walked in
silence a short distance. "How beautiful are the fields, how fresh the
woods, how sweet the flowers! Oh! Miles, a day in such a spot as
this, is worth a year in town!"
"Why, then, do you, who have now so much at your command, pass more
than half your time between the heated bricks of Wall Street, when you
know how happy we should all be to see you, here, among us, again?"
"I have not been certain of this; that has been the sole reason, of my
absence. Had I known I should be welcome, nothing would have induced
me to suffer Grace to pass the last six sad, sad, months by herself."
"Known that you should be welcome! Surely you have not supposed, Lucy,
that _I_ can ever regard you as anything but welcome, here?"
"I had no allusion to _you_--thought not of you, Miles, at
all"--answered Lucy, with the quiet manner of one who felt she was
thinking, acting, and speaking no more than what was perfectly
right--"My mind was dwelling altogether on Grace."
"Is it possible you could doubt of Grace's willingness to see you, at
all times and in all places, Lucy!"
"I have doubted it--have thought I was acting prudently and well, in
staying away, just at this time, though I now begin to fear the
decision has been hasty and unwise."
"May I ask _why_ Lucy Hardinge has come to so singular and
violent an opinion, as connected with her bosom friend, and almost
sister, Grace Wallingford?"
"That _almost sister_! Oh! Miles, what is there I possess which I
would not give, that there might be perfect confidence, again, between
you and me, on this subject; such confidence as existed when we were
boy and girl-children, I might say."
"And what prevents it? Certain I am the alienation does not, cannot
come from me. You have only to speak, Lucy, to have an attentive
listener; to ask, to receive the truest answers. What can, then,
prevent the confidence you wish?"
"There is _one_ obstacle--surely, Miles, you can readily imagine
what I mean?"
'Can it be possible Lucy is alluding to Andrew Drewett!'--I thought to
myself. 'Has she discovered my attachment, and does she, will she, can
she regret her own engagement?' A lover who thought thus, would not
be apt to leave the question long in doubt.
"Deal plainly with me, I implore of you, Lucy," I said solemnly. "One
word uttered with your old sincerity and frankness may close a chasm
that has now been widening between us for the last year or two. What
is the obstacle you mean?"
"I have seen and felt the alienation to which you allude quite as
sensibly as you can have done so yourself, Miles," the dear girl
answered in her natural, simple manner, "and I will trust all to your
generosity. Need I say more, to explain what I mean, than mention the
name of Rupert?"
"What of him, Lucy!--be explicit; vague allusions may be worse than
nothing."
Lucy's little hand was on my arm, and she had drawn its glove on
account of the heat. I felt it press me, almost convulsively, as she
added--"I do, I _must_ think you have too much affection and
gratitude for my dear father, too much regard for me, ever to forget
that you and Rupert once lived together as brothers?"
"Grace has my promise already, on that subject. I shall never take the
world's course with Rupert, in this affair."
I heard Lucy's involuntary sob, as if she gasped for breath; and,
turning, I saw her sweet eyes bent on my face with an expression of
thankfulness that could not be mistaken.
"I would have given the same pledge to you, Lucy, and purely on your
own account. It would be too much to cause you to mourn for your
brother's--"
I did not name the offence, lest my feelings should tempt me to use
too strong a term.
"This is all I ask--all I desire, Miles; bless you--bless you! for
having so freely given me this assurance. Now my heart is relieved
from this burthen, I am ready to speak frankly to you; still, had I
seen Grace--"
"Have no scruples on account of your regard for womanly feeling--I
know everything, and shall not attempt to conceal from you, that
disappointed love for Rupert has brought my sister to the state she is
in. This might not have happened, had either of us been with her; but,
buried as she has been alone in this place, her wounded sensibilities
have proved too strong for a frame that is so delicate."
There was a pause of a minute, after I ended.
"I have long feared that some such calamity would befall us," Lucy
answered, in a low, measured tone. "I think you do not understand
Grace as well as I do, Miles. Her mind and feelings have a stronger
influence than common over her body; and I fear no society of ours, or
of others, could have saved her this trial. Still, we must not
despair, It is a trial--that is just the word; and by means of
tenderness, the most sedulous care, good advice, and all that we two
can do to aid, there must yet be hope. Now there is a skilful
physician here, he must be dealt fairly by, and should know the
whole."
"I intended to consult you on this subject--one has such a reluctance
to expose Grace's most sacred feelings!"
"Surely it need not go quite as far as that," returned Lucy, with
sensitive quickness, "something--_much_--must be left to
conjecture; but Dr. Post must know that the mind is at the bottom of
the evil; though I fear that young ladies can seldom admit the
existence of such a complaint, without having it attributed to a
weakness of this nature."
"That proceeds from the certainty that your sex has so much heart,
Lucy; your very existence being bound up in others."
"Grace is one of peculiar strength of affections--but, Miles, we will
talk no further of this at present. I scarce know how to speak of my
brother's affairs, and you must give me time to reflect. Now we are at
Clawbonny again, we cannot long continue strangers to each other."
This was said so sweetly, I could have knelt and kissed her shoe-ties;
and yet so simply, as not to induce misinterpretation. It served to
change the discourse, however, and the remainder of the way we talked
of the past. Lucy spoke of her cousin's death, relating various little
incidents to show how much Mrs. Bradfort was attached to her, and how
good a woman she was; but not a syllable was said of the will. I was
required, in my turn, to finish the narrative of my last voyage, which
had not been completed at the theatre. When Lucy learned that the
rough seaman who had come in the sloop was Marble, she manifested
great interest in him, declaring, had she known it during the passage,
that she would have introduced herself. All this time, Rupert's name
was not mentioned between us; and I reached the house, feeling that
something like the interest I had formerly possessed there, had been
awakened in the bosom of my companion. She was, at least, firmly and
confidingly my friend.
Chloe met Lucy at the door with a message--Miss Grace wanted to see
Miss Lucy, alone. I dreaded this interview, and looked forward to
being present at it; but Lucy begged me to confide in her, and I felt
bound to comply. While the dear girl was gone to my sister's room, I
sought the physician, with whom I had a brief but explicit conference.
I told this gentleman how much Grace had been alone, permitting sorrow
to wear upon her frame, and gave him to understand that the seat of my
sister's malady was mental suffering. Post was a cool, discriminating
man, and he ventured no remark until he had seen his patient; though I
could perceive, by the keen manner in which his piercing eye was fixed
on mine, that all I said was fully noted.
It was more than an hour before Lucy reappeared. It was obvious at a
glance that she had been dreadfully agitated, and cruelly surprised at
the condition in which she had found Grace. It was not that disease,
in any of its known forms, was so very apparent; but that my sister
resembled already a being of another world, in the beaming of her
countenance--in the bright, unearthly expression of her eyes--and in
the slightness and delicacy of the hold she seemed, generally, to have
on life. Grace had always something of this about her--_much_, I
might better have said; but it now appeared to be left nearly alone,
as her thoughts and strength gradually receded from the means of
existence.
The physician returned with Lucy to my sister's room, where he passed
more than an hour; as long a time, indeed, he afterwards told me
himself, as he thought could be done without fatiguing his
patient. The advice he gave me was cautious and discreet. Certain
tonics were prescribed; we were told to endeavour to divert the mind
of our precious charge from her sources of uneasiness, by gentle means
and prudent expedients. Change of scene was advised also, could it be
done without producing too much fatigue. I suggested the Wallingford,
as soon as this project was mentioned. She was a small sloop, it is
true, but had two very comfortable cabins; my father having had one of
them constructed especially in reference to my mother's occasional
visits to town. The vessel did little, at that season of the year,
besides transporting flour to market, and bringing back wheat. In the
autumn, she carried wood, and the products of the neighbourhood. A
holiday might be granted her, and no harm come of it. Dr. Post
approved the idea, saying frankly there was no objection but the
expense; if I could bear that, a better plan could not possibly be
adopted.
That night we discussed the matter in the family circle, Mr. Hardinge
having come from the Rectory to join us. Everybody approved of the
scheme, it was so much better than leaving: Grace to pine away by
herself in the solitude of Clawbonny.
"I have a patient at the Springs," said Dr. Post, "who is very anxious
to see me; and, to own the truth, I am a little desirous of drinking
the waters myself, for a week. Carry me to Albany, and land me; after
which you can descend the river, and continue your voyage to as many
places, and for as long a time, as the strength of Miss Wallingford,
and your own inclinations, shall dictate."
This project seemed excellent in all our eyes; even Grace heard it
with a smile, placing herself entirely in our hands. It was decided
to put it in practice.