This was what she had been thinking of. This had been the meaning of the
tender thought for him he had recognised uncomprehendingly in her look:
it had been the cause of her desire to enfold him in healing and restful
peace. When he had felt that she drew so close to him that they were
scarcely separated by physical being, it was because she had suddenly
awakened to a new comprehension. The awakening must have been a sudden
one. He had known at the church that it had taken all her last remnant
of strength to aid her to lay her cold hand in his and he had seen
shrinking terror in her eyes when she lifted them to his as he put on
her wedding ring. He had also known perfectly what memory had beset her
at the moment and he had thrown all the force of his will into the look
which had answered her--the look which had told her that he understood.
Yes, the awakening must have been sudden and he asked himself how it had
come about--what had made all clear?
He had never been a mystic, but during the cataclysmic hours through
which men were living, many of them stunned into half blindness and then
shocked into an unearthly clarity of thought and sight, he had come upon
previously unheard of signs of mysticism on all sides. People
talked--most of them blunderingly--of things they would not have
mentioned without derision in pre-war days. Premonitions, dreams,
visions, telepathy were not by any means always flouted with raucous
laughter and crude witticisms. Even unorthodox people had begun to hold
tentatively religious views.
Was he becoming a mystic at last? As he walked by Robin's side on the
moor, as he dined with her, talked with her, sat and watched her at her
sewing, more than ever each hour he believed that her dream was no
ordinary fantasy of the unguided brain. She had in some strange way
seen Donal. Where--how--where he had come from--where he returned after
their meeting--he ceased to ask himself. What did it matter after all if
souls could so comfort and sustain each other? The blessedness of it was
enough.
He wondered as Dowie had done whether she would reveal anything to him
or remain silent. There was no actual reason why she should speak. No
remotest reference to the subject would come from himself.
It was in truth a new planet he lived on during this marvel of a week.
The child was wonderful, he told himself. He had not realised that a
feminine creature could be so exquisitely enfolding and yet leave a man
so wholly free. She was not always with him, but her spirit was so near
that he began to feel that no faintest wish could form itself within his
mind without her mysteriously knowing of its existence and realising it
while she seemed to make no effort. She did pretty things for him and
her gladness in his pleasure in them touched him to the core. He also
knew that she wished him to see that she was well and strong and never
tired or languid. There was, perhaps, one thing she could do for him and
she wanted to prove to him that he might be sure she would not fail him.
He allowed her to perform small services for him because of the dearness
of the smile it brought to her lips--almost a sort of mothering smile.
It was really true that she wanted to be his little slave and he had
imagination enough to guess that she comforted herself by saying the
thing to herself again and again; childlike and fantastic as it was.
She taught him to sleep as he had not slept for a year; she gave him
back the power to look at his food without a sense of being repelled;
she restored to him the ability to sit still in a chair as though it
were meant to rest in. His nerves relaxed; his deadly fatigue left him;
and it was the quiet nearness of Robin that had done it. He felt younger
and knew that on his return to London he should be more inclined to
disbelieve exaggerated rumours than to believe them.
On the evening before he left Darreuch they sat at the Tower window
again. She did not take her sewing from its basket, but sat very quietly
for a while looking at the purple folds of moor.
"You will go away very early in the morning," she began at last.
"Yes. You must promise me that you will not awaken."
"I do not waken early. If I do I shall come to you, but I think I shall
be asleep."
"Try to be asleep."
He saw that she was going to say something else--something not connected
with his departure. It was growing in her eyes and after a silent moment
or so she began.
"There is something I want to tell you," she said.
"Yes?"
"I have waited because I wanted to make sure that you could believe it.
I did not think you would not wish to believe it, but sometimes there
are people who _cannot_ believe even when they try. Perhaps once I
should not have been able to believe myself. But now--I _know_. And
to-night I feel that you are one of those who _can_ believe."
She was going to speak of it.
"In these days when all the forces of the world are in upheaval people
are learning that there are many new things to be believed," was his
answer.
She turned towards him, extending her arms that he might see her well.
"See!" she said, "I am alive again. I am alive because Donal came back
to me. He comes every night and when he comes he is not dead. Can you
believe it?"
"When I look at you and remember, I can believe anything. I do not
understand. I do not know where he comes from--or how, but I believe
that in some way you see him."
She had always been a natural and simple girl and it struck him that her
manner had never been a more natural one.
"_I_ do not know where he comes from," the clearness of a bell in her
voice. "He does not want me to ask him. He did not say so but I know.
When he is with me we know things without speaking words. We only talk
of happy things. I have not told him that--that I have been unhappy and
that I thought that perhaps I was really dead. He made me understand
about you--but he does not know anything--else. Yes--" eagerly, eagerly,
"you are believing--you are!"
"Yes--I am believing."
"If everything were as it used to be--I should see him and talk to him
in the day time. Now I see him and talk to him at night instead. You
see, it is almost the same thing. But we are really happier. We are
afraid of nothing and we only tell each other of happy things. We know
how wonderful everything is and that it was _meant_ to be like that. You
don't know how beautiful it is when you only think and talk about joyful
things! The other things fly away. Sometimes we go out onto the moor
together and the darkness is not darkness--it is a soft lovely thing as
beautiful as the light. We love it--and we can go as far as we like
because we are never tired. Being tired is one of the things that has
flown away and left us quite light. That is why I feel light in the day
and I am never tired or afraid. I _remember_ all the day."
As he listened, keeping his eyes on her serenely radiant face, he asked
himself what he should have been thinking if he had been a psychopathic
specialist studying her case. He at the same time realised that a
psychopathic specialist's opinion of what he himself--Lord
Coombe--thought would doubtless have been scientifically disconcerting.
For what he found that he thought was that, through some mysteriously
beneficent opening of portals kept closed through all the eons of time,
she who was purest love's self had strangely passed to places where
vision revealed things as they were created by that First Intention--of
which people sometimes glibly talked in London drawing-rooms. He had not
seen life so. He was not on her plane, but, as he heard her, he for the
time believed in its existence and felt a remote nostalgia.
"Dowie is very brave and tries not to be frightened," she went on; "but
she is really afraid that something may happen to my mind. She thinks it
is only a queer dream which may turn out unhealthy. But it is not. It is
Donal."
"Yes, it is Donal," he answered gravely. And he believed he was speaking
a truth, though he was aware of no material process of reasoning by
which such a conclusion could be reached. One had to overleap gaps--even
abysses--where material reasoning came to a full stop. One could only
argue that there might be yet unknown processes to be revealed. Mere
earthly invention was revealing on this plane unknown processes year by
year--why not on other planes?
"I wanted to tell you because I want you to know everything about me. It
seems as if I belong to you, Lord Coombe," there was actual sweet
pleading in her voice. "You watched and made my life for me. I should
not have been this Robin if you had not watched. When Donal came back he
found me in the house you had taken me to because I could be safe in it.
Everything has come from you.... I am yours as well as Donal's."
"You give me extraordinary comfort, dear child," he said. "I did not
know that I needed it, but I see that I did. Perhaps I have longed for
it without knowing it. You have opened closed doors."
"I will do anything--everything--you wish me to do. I will _obey_ you
always," she said.
"You are doing everything I most desire," he answered.
"Then I will try more every day."
She meant it as she had always meant everything she said. It was her
innocent pledge of faithful service, because, understanding at last, she
had laid her white young heart in gratitude at his feet. No living man
could have read her more clearly than this one whom half Europe had
secretly smiled at as its most finished debauchée. When she took her
pretty basket upon her knee and began to fold its bits of lawn
delicately for the night, he felt as if he were watching some stainless
acolyte laying away the fine cloths of an altar.
Though no one would have accused him of being a sentimentalist or an
emotional man, his emotions overpowered him for once and swept doubt of
emotion and truth into some outer world.
* * * * *
The morning rose fair and the soft wind blowing across the gorse and
heather brought scents with it. Dowie waited upon him at his early
breakfast and took the liberty of indulging in open speech.
"You go away looking rested, my lord," she respectfully ventured. "And
you leave us feeling safe."
"Quite safe," he answered; "she is beautifully well."
"That's it, my lord--beautifully--thank God. I've never seen a young
thing bloom as she does and I've seen many."
The cart was at the door and he stood in the shadows of the hall when a
slight sound made him look up at the staircase. It was an ancient
winding stone descent with its feudal hand rope for balustrade. Robin
was coming down it in a loose white dress. Her morning face was
wonderful. It was inevitable that he should ask himself where she had
come from--what she had brought with her unknowing. She looked like a
white blossom drifting from the bough--like a feather from a dove's wing
floating downward to earth. But she was only Robin.
"You awakened," he reproached her.
She came quite near him.
"I wanted to awake. Donal wanted me to."
She had never been quite so near him before. She put out a hand and laid
it on the rough tweed covering his breast.
"I wanted to see you. Will you come again--when you are tired? I shall
always be here waiting."
"Thank you, dear child," he answered. "I will come as often as I can
leave London. This is a new planet."
He was almost as afraid to move as if a bird had alighted near him.
But she was not afraid. Her eyes were clear pools of pure light.
"Before you go away--" she said as simply as she had said it to Dowie
years before, "--may I kiss you, Lord Coombe? I want to kiss you."
His old friend had told him the story of Dowie and it had
extraordinarily touched him though he had said but little. And now it
repeated itself. He had never seen anything so movingly lovely in his
life as her sweet gravity.
She lifted her slight arms and laid them around his neck as she kissed
him gently, as if she had been his daughter--his own daughter and
delight--whose mother might have been Alixe.