[The following suggestions, on the relation and duties of a sisterto her brother, are taken from a volume by the Author of this book,entitled, "Advice to Young Ladies on their Duties and Conduct inLife."]
OLDER brothers are not usually as attentive to their younger sistersas the latter would feel to be agreeable. The little girls that wereso long known as children, with the foibles, faults, and caprices ofchildren, although now grown up into tall young ladies, who haveleft or are about leaving school, are still felt to be children, orbut a little advanced beyond childhood, by the young men who havehad some three or four years' experience in the world. With theseolder brothers, there will not usually be, arising from this cause,much confidential and unreserved intercourse; at least, not untilthe sisters have added two or three years more to their ages, andassumed more of the quiet dignity of womanhood.
Upon these older brothers, therefore, the conduct of sisters cannot,usually, have much effect. They are removed to a point chieflybeyond the circle of their influence. But upon brothers near abouttheir own age, and younger than themselves, the influence of sistersmay be brought to bear with the most salutary results.
The temptations to which young men are exposed, when first they comein contact with the world, are many, and full of the strongestallurements. Their virtuous principles are assailed in a thousandways; sometimes boldly, and sometimes by the most insidious arts ofthe vicious and evil-minded. All, therefore, that can make virtuelovely in their eyes, and vice hideous, they need to strengthen thegood principles stored up, from childhood, in their minds. For theirsakes, home should be made as attractive as possible, in order toinduce them frequently to spend their evenings in the place where,of all others, they will be safest. To do this, a young lady mustconsult the tastes of her brothers, and endeavour to take sufficientinterest in the pursuits that interest them, as to make herselfcompanionable. If they are fond of music, one of the strongestincentives she can have for attaining the highest possible skill inperforming upon the piano, will be the hope of making home, thereby,the most attractive place where they can spend their evenings. Ifthey are fond of reading, let her read, as far as she can, the booksthat interest them, in order that she may take part in theirconversations; and let her, in every other possible way, furnishherself with the means of making home agreeable.
There is no surer way for a sister to gain an influence with herbrother, than to cultivate all exterior graces and accomplishments,and improve her mind by reading, thinking, and observation. By thesemeans she not only becomes his intelligent companion, but inspireshim with a feeling of generous pride toward her, that, more than anything else, impresses her image upon his mind, brings her at alltimes nearer to him, and gives her a double power over him for good.
The indifference felt by brothers toward their sisters, when it doesexist, often arises from the fact that their sisters are inferior,in almost every thing, to the women they are in the habit of meetingabroad. Where this is the case, such indifference is not so much tobe wondered at.
Sisters should always endeavour to gain, as much as possible, theconfidence of their brothers, and to give them their confidence inreturn. Mutual good offices will result from this, and attachmentsthat could only produce unhappiness may be prevented. A man seesmore of men than woman does, and the same is true in regard to theother sex. This being so, a brother has it in his power at once toguard his sister against the advances of an unprincipled man, or aman whose habits he knows to be bad; and a sister has it in herpower to reveal to her brother traits of character in a woman, forwhom he is about forming an attachment, that would repel rather thanattract him.
Toward her younger brother a sister should be particularlyconsiderate. In allusion to this subject, Mrs. Farrar has written sowell that we cannot repress our wish to quote her. "If your brothersare younger than you, encourage them to be perfectly confidentialwith you; win their friendship by your sympathy in all theirconcerns, and let them see that their interests and their pleasuresare liberally provided for in the family arrangements. Neverdisclose their little secrets, however unimportant they may seem toyou; never pain them by an ill-timed joke; never repress theirfeelings by ridicule; but be their tenderest friend, and then youmay become their ablest adviser. If separated from them by thecourse of school and college education, make a point of keeping upyour intimacy by full, free, and affectionate correspondence; andwhen they return to the paternal roof, at that awkward age betweenyouth and manhood, when reserve creeps over the mind like animpenetrable vail, suffer it not to interpose between you and yourbrothers. Cultivate their friendship and intimacy with all theaddress and tenderness you possess; for it is of unspeakableimportance to them that their sisters should be their confidentialfriends. Consider the loss of a ball or party, for the sake ofmaking the evening pass pleasantly to your brothers at home, as asmall sacrifice--one you should unhesitatingly make. If they go intocompany with you, see that they are introduced to the most desirableacquaintances, and show them that you are interested in theiracquitting themselves well."
Having quoted thus much from the "Young Lady's Friend," we feelinclined to give a few passages more from the author's admirableremarks on the relation of brother and sister.
"So many temptations beset young men, of which young women knownothing, that it is of the utmost importance that your brothers'evenings should be happily passed at home; that their friends shouldbe your friends; that their engagements should be the same as yours;and that various innocent amusements should be provided for them inthe family circle. Music is an accomplishment usually valuable as ahome enjoyment, as rallying round the piano the various members of afamily, and harmonizing their hearts, as well as their voices,particularly in devotional strains. I know no more agreeable andinteresting spectacle than that of brothers and sisters playing andsinging together those elevated compositions in music and poetrywhich gratify the taste and purify the heart, while their parentssit delighted by. I have seen and heard an elder sister thus leadingthe family choir, who was the soul of harmony to the wholehousehold, and whose life was a perfect example of those virtueswhich I am here endeavouring to inculcate. Let no one say, inreading this chapter, that too much is here required of sisters;that no one can be expected to lead such a self-sacrificing life;for the sainted one to whom I refer was all that I would ask mysister to be; and a happier person never lived. 'To do good and makeothers happy,' was the rule of her life; and in this she found theart of making herself so.
"Brothers will generally be found strongly opposed to the slightestindecorum in sisters.....Their intercourse with all sorts of menenables them to judge of the construction put upon certain actions,and modes of dress and speech, much better than women can; and youwill do well to take their advice on all such points.
"I have been told by men, who had passed unharmed through thetemptations of youth, that they owed their escape from many dangersto the intimate companionship of affectionate and pure-mindedsisters. They have been saved from a hazardous meeting with idlecompany by some home engagement, of which their sisters were thecharm; they have refrained from mixing with the impure, because theywould not bring home thoughts and feelings which they could notshare with those trusting and loving friends; they have put asidethe wine-cup, and abstained from stronger potations, because theywould not profane with their fumes the holy kiss, with which theywere accustomed to bid their sisters good-night."
THE END.
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