IN the truest sense of the word, woman was created to be man'scomforter, a joyous helpmate in hours of sunshine, a soother, whenthe clouds darken and the tempests howl around his head; then,indeed, we perceive the divinely beautiful arrangement whichmarriage enforces. Man in his wisdom, his rare mental endowments, islittle fitted to bear adversity. He bows before the blast, like thesturdy pine which the wintry storm, sweeping past, cracks to itsvery centre; while woman, as the frail reed, sways to and fro withthe fierce gust, then rises again triumphant towards the blackeningsky. Her affection, pure and steadfast, her unswerving faith anddevotion, sustain man in the hour of darkness, even as the trailingweed supports and binds together the mighty walls of some moulderingruin.
Would you know why so many unhappy marriages seem to falsify thetruth that they are made in Heaven? Why we see daily diversity ofinterests, and terrible contentions, eating the very life away, likethe ghoul in the Arabian tales, that prayed on human flesh? It isthat women are wrongly educated. Instructed, trained, to considermatrimony the sole aim, the end of their existence, it matters notto whom the Gordian knot is tied, so that the trousseau, wedding,and eclat of bridehood follow. Soon the brightness of this falseaurora borealis fades from the conjugal horizon; and the truths oflife, divested of all romance, in bitterness and pain rise beforethem. Unfitted for duties which must be fulfilled, physicallyincapacitated for the responsibilities of life--mere school-girls inmany instances--the chains they have assumed become cables of iron,whose heavy weight crushes into the heart, erasing for ever thefootprints of affection, and leaving instead the black marks ofdeadly hate. Then comes the struggle for supremacy. Man in his mightand power asserts his will, while woman, unknowing her sin, unguidedby the divine light of love, neglects, abandons her home; then comeruin, despair, and death. God help those mistaken ones, who havethus hurried into union, ignorant of each other's prejudices,opinions, and dispositions, when too late they discover there isnot, nor ever can be, affinity between souls wide as the polesasunder.
Notwithstanding these miserable unions, we must consider marriagedivine in its origin, and alone calculated to make life blessed. Whocan imagine a more blissful state of existence than two united bythe law of God and love, mutually sustaining each other in thejostlings of life; together weathering its storms, or baskingbeneath its clear skies; hand in hand, lovingly, truthfully, theypass onward. This is marriage as God instituted it, as it evershould be, as Moore beautifully says--
"There's a bliss beyond all that the minstrel has told, When two that are linked in one heavenly tie, With heart never changing and brow never cold, Love on through all ills, and love on till they die!"
To attain this bliss, this union of the soul, as well as of hands,it is necessary that much should be changed. Girls must not think,as soon as emancipated from nursery control, that they are qualifiedto become wives and mothers. If woman would become the truecompanion of man, she must not only cultivate her intellect, butstrive to control her impulses and subdue her temper, so that whileyielding gently, gracefully, to what appears, at the time, perhaps,a harsh requirement, she may feel within the "calm which passeth allunderstanding." There must be a mutual forbearance, no fiercewrestling to rule. If there is to be submission, let the wife showhow meekly Omnipotent love suffereth all things. Purity, innocence,and holy beauty invest such a love with a halo of glory.
Man, mistake not then thy mate, and hereafter, bitterly repenting,exclaim at the curse of marriage. No, no, with prudent foresight,avoid the ball-room belle--seek thy twin soul among thepure-hearted, the meek, the true. Like must mate with like; thekingly eagle pairs not with the owl, nor the lion with the jackal.Neither must woman rush blindly, heedlessly, into the noose,fancying the sunny hues, the lightning glances of her first admirer,true prismatic colours. She must first chemically analyze them to besure they are not reflected light alone, from her own imagination.That frightsome word to many, "old maid," ought not to exercise anyinfluence over her firmly balanced mind; better far, however, lead asingle life, than form a sinful alliance, that can only result inmisery and wretchedness. Some of the purest and best women that everlived, have belonged to that much decried, contemned sisterhood.
Wed not, merely to fly from an opprobrious epithet; assume not theholy name of wife, to one who brings trueness of heart, wealth ofaffection, whilst you have nought to offer in return but coldrespect. Your first love already lavished on another: believe me,respect, esteem, are but poor, weak talismans to ward off life'strials. Rise superior to all puerile fancies; bear nobly the odiumof old maidism, if such be thy fate, and if, like Sir Walter Scott'slovely creation, Rebecca, you are separated by an impassable gulffrom your heart's chosen, or have met and suffered by the false andtreacherous, take not any chance Waverley who may cross your path.Like the high-souled Jewess, resolve to live on singly, and strivewith the means God has given you, to benefit, to comfort yoursuffering sisters.
Would man and woman give to this all-important subject, so vital totheir life-long happiness, the consideration it requires, we shouldnot so often meet with men broken in spirit--memento mori legiblywritten on their countenances; with women prematurely old--unlovingwives, careless husbands. Meditate long before you assume ties toendure to your life's end, mayhaps to eternity. Pause even on thealtar-stone, if only there thou seest thy error; for a union ofhands, without hearts, is a sin against high heaven. Remember,
"There are two angels that attend, unseen; Each one of us; and in great books record Our good and evil deeds. He who writes down The good ones, after every action, closes His volume; and ascends with it to God; The other keeps his dreadful day-book open Till sunset, that we may repent; which doing, The record of the action fades away, And leaves a line of white across the page."